One Hour Of Our Texts. (Unexpurgated/Unsaid)
Are you ok? Because I’m not. I hope it’s just middle aged rage but I find myself getting better hand then
All of a sudden I find myself in Melanie’s company again and every nerve and vein and cell in my body is screaming at my brain “how did she get back here with us again!!???”
Like a herpes outbreak or an alcoholic going to an AA meeting – they all just keep coming back again and again.
It’s not even a verbal request or a physical desire for her return. it’s more like an errant thought about her comes disguised as a memory kinda floating thru my head and before I can even realize the fragment of a thought in my head BOOM! she is already right here pointing her finger and screaming at me about accountability! and telling me to say what I did wrong and I’m like I don’t want this so how the fuck do I have this?
It’s not even a relationship. It’s not consummated. It’s not nurturing it’s not pleasant it’s not even like a friendship anymore. Just two people who have known each other the longest and for that reason despise each other equally as much now as we may have ever (if we ever did) loved one another so how much money would make her just go away permanently?
No. I don’t mean it like that. More like peaceful easy feelings of goodbye Mel goodbye Mark wish you the best yeah you too and don’t let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you…
That kind of go away permanently is what she and I need from each other at this point. I fucked ⬆️ again.
Thanks for listening to me write it out. I feel so much worse now but at least my mind is clear.
I like you because you are my friend. We don’t insult each other or curse each other or try to take this whole shebang too damn seriously and we can talk about our kids without judgement or recrimination and I’m not out to get you or vice versa. See that’s what they don’t get. All thise folks who curse us or try to fuck us over like Vince or Jay or folks who accuse us of being dishonest or cheating on them like K or T or M That’s what they don’t get. All that stuff I said about you being my friend is enough for me to feel good so why would we ever want to feel bad? There’s enough sadness in my past or yours to fill a barn
Don’t beat yourself up like this mark sorry did not see these texts till now but good thing there’s always tomorrow ,…. Lol jk if it makes u feel better I’ve visiting with kev Sorry mark it will get better now make her leave lol
Willie needs his brainsleep
Don’t let her take you for what you do got which is your dignity!
I won’t let her do that. I’m ranting and venting but it’s all real what I said. At least at this moment.
I promised her Father I would look after her but even he knew what an insane non human demon hellcunt she could be at months.
Or weeks at a time so I think he understands that I can’t do it any longer. She claims she got approved for section 8 so she can get a fresh start and a new housing I won’t watch William tomorrow so that will make her leave
She just is shiesty and tries to nab stuff on the way out as we know like my keys or my chargers or who fucking knows So I can’t just split really. But it’s cool no violence no worries
I’m safe Willie is safe we’ll as safe as he can be sleeping next to her, and it’s all goodnight! See you mananA