November 1st Might Mean October Is Over But…

Tamara Jackson
I want to keep Breast Cancer Awareness month rolling all year-long. I Stand Up 2 cancer for my cousin Tamara. She is singing with Jesus now but goddammit I wanted her to sing with me for a few more years. She passed away 8 years ago last week so here is my positive remembrance of a brilliant beautiful young black woman who will always be missed and never forgotten.

First some video of My cousin Tamara on her wedding day 2005.

Now a piece I wrote for Tammy on

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2013 AT 4:15 PM
Someday we will have DJs at funerals. I should know. I DJ’d a
wedding once. Well I shan’t say I DJ’d the wedding. I merely
pressed play on the tiny boom box (SONY) and here comes the
bride. ‘Twas a beautiful wedding. A black wedding. Meaning black
people do actually marry despite your racist hopes. The bride was
my first cousin Tamara Randall née Jackson. Yes the whole day was
beautiful. Stop it already. A scant 4 years later I attended her death.
A rainy morning. A call. Awoken early the morning sun not up. I
have a photograph taken July 27, 2003 maybe! My brother her sister
and I. I’m sticking a tongue out. I was mad at the fine Bahamian
wearing fake dreads making money by posing for photos for the
non-natives. But if you bypass my tongue in the photograph you can
see her. You can see the foursome of us smiling with random
Bahamian fake dread. If you look slightly left in the photograph you
can see her smile. Her smile. Her joie de vivre. A moment if you will
allow me. The Bahamian boys would not leave her alone. They
would whistle, catcall, stare and menace. But she was my family. She
was my cousin. Her protector and her friend. Those boys eyes would
follow us but when I held her hand down the boardwalk they did not
dare come within punching distance. I will refrain from her beauty.
Her elegance. Her ability to tell me to ‘shut the fuck up mark’ with
only a glance. Somewhere buried I have the video of her wedding. I
can’t watch it anymore but perhaps I should. I need to see her
happy again. Beautiful again and looking forward